I've been thinking of what people actually mean when they say that with thus-and-so I can/cannot be myself.
What kind of self are talking about?
There is this grumpy Monday morning self that emerges before my cup of morning coffee... and there is the self that is delighted pink just because of some happy thoughts... and there is the sad self and there is the self that keeps on analyzing things...sometimes I really don't want to be myself, because I find myself irritating, maddening, boring and at times pathetic... (but I'm stuck with me, for better or for worse :)
Some selves come out of their hiding only when they feel really safe, and some of the lioness in me only comes out when my kids are attacked, and some selves are very susceptible to weather, sleep and food... At times I feel there's and an entire kingdom within :)
So, maybe what we actually mean is that to be with people who allow you to be all of the above, who allow you to keep on growing, who challenge you and accept you, who are able to see beyond the immediate, forgiving the occasional slip... they are the ones with whom you can be yourself indeed!
I read a phrase that really caught me:
Don't aim at pleasing, but remember that YOU are loved!
that sums it all up: to be myself I need to know that I am loved, and then I can be free to be or not to be... and free to change that which needs changing... and free to look with eyes of mercy on the other selves, be they mine or others...
let mercy triumph over judgement, again!
