Yesterday I listened to a lecture about disappointments. The thing that most stuck with me is that disappointments help you to map the borders of who you are, of what is important to you, what you hope/wish/want.
So embedeed in the incredible losses are these gems of finding out what truly matters.
It is like finding treasures in darkness... coming out from the black pit with jewels filling your hands...
My jewels are many, and they are ablaze with coloured light; the warm deep red glow of friendship, the bright yellow of surprises, the cool blue of silent compassion, the bright green of renewed hope, the soft gray of shared tears, the transparent turquoise speaking of change; all of these set in gold forged in the fires of disappointment, grief and trials.
Some things come with a high price, and some victories are won at great cost, and there will be lasting scars, and maybe I will limp, but like an old Anglo-Saxon poems states, there are things one needs to hold on regardless of one's strength
"Mind must be firmer, heart the more fierce, courage the greater, as our strength diminishes."
"Hige° sceal þe heardra, heorte þe cenre, mod sceal þe mare, þe ure mægen° lytlað.
Contrary to the heroes slain at the battle of Maldon, I think I'm getting stronger now and am nearer to the dawn, but still, I will search till I find the jewels this present darkness hides and consider myself rich :)
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